ABloggingHorse's Xanga

A Different Twist on the Economy

Sun, 01 Feb 2009 08:03:41 GMT

by Daniel Culveyhouse

The housing market in the United States turns upside-down, and a subprime mortgage crisis ravages banks and homeowners. Then, six months later, Asian stock markets collapse, Iceland's economy and government crumble, and the entire world reels under a very bad recession. While watching these events unfold, no one could really say that life in 2009 is grand, not by any stretch of the imagination. You don't have to walk far to hear people crying, whining, complaining, and lamenting the loss of their jobs, or maybe their homes, and possibly their sanity.

Would you believe that most of our ancestors would turn in their graves if they could hear us griping about our recent misfortune? To them, life was something to savor for the moment, since amidst the frequent chaos and turbulence of the 20th century, no one knew what the next day would bring. Our grandparents could only fantasize about the kind of lives that we enjoy today, and that perspective from an age long gone seems to be overlooked, especially now, in such a dark hour. Let's explore this incitement a little further:

The first example to put current events into perspective is a great one. It was called... well, The Great Depression. We have no idea what it was like to suffer through an economic meltdown during the 30s, right alongside other calamities such as major droughts and the American Dust Bowl. That anyone managed to pass through this period with dignity and hope is a miracle in my opinion. Our market corrections should feel like but a bump in the road compared to the "Dirty Thirties".

If this isn't enough to convince you that our misfortune is only minor, try understanding conditions in Europe during World War I. From 1914 to 1918, European soldiers from nearly every country were embroiled in grisly trench warfare, which many of them considered worse than death itself. The grim conditions in the trenches— incessant shelling, raids, sniper attacks, diseases, infections, and poison had caused millions of deaths by the time the first world war ended. For a horrifying glimpse at life in the trenches, watch the first half-hour of A Very Long Engagement, a French film by Jean-Pierre Jeunet. Trust me, after watching this, the recession will feel like just another cloudy day to you.

The citations go on throughout history. How would you like to have been among the first Jamestown settlers in 1607, where only one third of your friends would survive the first two winters (if you were luckily enough to survive yourself). Lastly, how would you like to have been one of over TEN MILLION Jews sent to internment camps throughout Europe during World War II, and to have known that over half of your fellow Jews would not survive to the end of the war.

I think I would choose this recession over any of these dark chunks of history. How about you?

It takes some insight into history— just a little— to place your current situation into perspective, whatever that situation may be. We enjoy so many modern comforts that were absent just a few decades ago, that it's almost a travesty to complain about any hardship. We can still laugh, we can share our discomfort and support each other, and we can learn from our tumultuous past to limit this recession (and apply modern economics to stave off a full depression). And best of all, by using a little foresight, we can see before us a very bright and prosperous decade to come.

The Year 2008 of the Common Era

Wed, 07 Jan 2009 10:22:51 GMT

Anno Domini is a term applied to our Gregorian calendar by the lovely Christian Church to define an "era" representing the time after the birth of Jesus Christ. I've mention this before: Atheists like me who do not recognize this defining moment are kind of screwed, aren't we. I mean, I cannot just create my own "Jesus Who? Calendar". Luckily, many academia now use the neutral and agnostic term Common Era, or CE, concurrently with Anno Domini. So here we are, in the new year of 2009 CE, and the time has come to reflect upon 2008 CE— one hell of a roller coaster year for America, but one that offered me a lot of personal growth. As everything (and everyone) crumbled around me on all sides, I remained uncorruptible, and that is no exaggeration as you will see.

A Journey through 2008 CE

January:

The clunky corporation I worked for moved our division into a brand new $3,000,000 office in downtown San Francisco. One week later, over half of our division got bitch-slapped with layoff notices, including me. It was an overdue departure, since the company was a toxic dead end with its fucked up cult-like atmosphere and creepy puppet managers. Also this month, winter storms pounded California, causing millions in damage and several deaths.

February:

I turned 38 years old, and I ended my job at the clunky corporation on the same day. The next day, I co-founded a new Internet startup with a few business partners. This was the month that officially made me an entrepreneur, and my life changed in the most amazing way. Also in February, the presidential primaries for the Democratic and Republican parties swung into season.

March:

I found a lot of strength and motivation in March, which gave me everything I needed to begin our new company. We each invested our own money into this fledgeling venture. To make March more interesting, I joined the Socialist Party USA, making me a citizen who believes in equality for every human being on the planet. Consequently, the Socialist Worker's Party in Spain won the general election, giving Spain more opportunity for gender equality and gay/lesbian rights.

April:

I worked harder than I have ever worked in my life for my venture, deciding to dedicate all of my time to it, and delaying a hunt for a salaried job until 2009. On a stranger note, I somehow made a mortal enemy out of a snotty gossipy jackass named Ren Park for my posting of a bad restaurant review of Zuni Cafe, his employer. This wacky tale is worthy of a separate blog entry, so I will divulge the full details of Ren's messy and vengeful antics in an upcoming entry.

May:

I embarked on an adventure to Peru with a friend, passing through Lima, Cusco, Machu Picchu, and the Amazon jungle. Also in May, a gay Korean by the name of Andrew connected with me out of the blue, for no apparent reason, and he suggested that we attend an opera together. I thought it very strange that he randomly contacted me, but I accepted his offer.

June:

My business partners and I made great progress with our tiny company, and we decided to outsource parts of our business to give us a speed boost. I also noticed that Andrew, my new acquaintance from May, was rather moody and bipolar, and since he told me about his recent drug problems, I let him drift away. Also in late June as the stock markets cavitated, ready for total collapse, Bill Gates finally stepped down from daily duties at Microsoft after three decades.

July:

I met so many new friends this month and realized that my growing circles of friends meant that I could not devote much time to anything meaningful. I made a decision to trim the excess fat out of my social life by the end of the year, so as to focus on my dearest friends. In late July, stock markets around the world began to crumble, and Iran test-fired several missiles to assert its position in global war games, after which Israel and the U.S. condemned the missile tests.

August:

I met two classical musicians this month, and I decided to spend some time getting to know them. I finished up a long protracted mess involving the IRS, and my business partners and I prepared for the launch of our Internet company's public beta website. Also, Democrats chose Obama as their nominee to defeat the Republican nominee John McCain.

September:

My partners and I launched our beta website, and we get a very positive initial reaction from audience that we were targeting. Also this month, I decided to call the owner of Zuni Cafe to report some idiotic and unprofessional behavior of Ren and his co-worker. It was no laughing matter, as they soon found out, since both of the jackasses were reprimanded. I then posted another restaurant review of Zuni Cafe. Read it by clicking here.

October:

Stock markets around the world collapsed, some to their worst levels in decades. Our company's website gained a little more popularity in the dance community around the world, even though we're still a very tiny website on a shoestring budget. Halfway through the month, that new "acquaintance" from May (Andrew Lee), who happened to be friends with the Zuni Cafe jackasses, turned nasty on me and tossed verbal and written insults in response to my getting his friends reprimanded. This also deserves a separate blog entry, since Andrew's socially retarded behavior was something that I predicted three months beforehand.

November:

My business partners and I began research for investor funding for our new startup. My friend composed an opera and dedicated it to me, and I took one of my best friends from Berkeley on a semi-romantic evening to see it. In other news, an acquaintance named Johanes who recently moved to San Francisco, turned out to be a foul-mouthed drug addict in serious need of rehabilitation. It only took me three weeks to realize this, and I ended the friendship when he went psycho and ballistic on me (a typical symptom of out-of-control drug abuse). Typical and predictable. But on a much more positive note, citizens of the United States elected a new president, Barack Obama.

December:

The holiday season somehow attracted some new friends my way, and to my surprise, I discovered a whole new social scene. Also throughout the month, I worked continuously with my business partners on our company, and in between, I somehow managed to attend seven holiday parties— a record for me.

The year two thousand and eight of the Common Era. It's one year that most of us would sure like to forget. But for some reason, although bittersweet, I found 2008 to my liking. It represented how resilient I am in a crisis that deeply affects the whole city, and it also reminded many people around me of my ice-cold stance on drug abuse. It also brought me new friends and a few sinister enemies; so I adored the good quality men/women, and conversely I countercharged and fought the jackass druggies right out of my life.

And for the second recession in a row, I anchored myself to the ground in San Francisco while hundreds of other gays and lesbians fled permanently to L.A., New York City, and elsewhere. I couldn't care less, and actually the exodus might make it even easier to find contract work, if I really need extra income.

As far as my treatment of the year to come, well I never bothered with New Year's resolutions like most people of the Earth. But I always try to predict my own future, which often times turns out to be accurate. This year, I see myself giving up every bit of fear in my personal and professional life, and I see some great opportunity for our Internet company around mid-year as a reward for all of our hard work. All this work, however, puts a damper on relationships, so I don't see one blooming until the next year.

Regardless of how these predictions unfold, I am sure that 2009 CE will be a year I will want to remember, always.

Entrepreneurs Must Check Fear at the Door

Sat, 13 Dec 2008 00:42:57 GMT

Last week, I mentioned that I dove into those risky, choppy waters of entrepreneurship. Back in January, I joined the surprisingly small population who march fearlessly into the unknown with a new business idea, putting their entire financial health on the line, armed with a big thinking cap and a very hopeful attitude.

The life of an entrepreneur is not easy, and it most certainly is not for the faint of heart. I discovered that this style of business matches my personality very well, because I am willing to take risks, live on the seat of my pants, and throw all of my fears out the window (along with my life savings). And that is exactly what entrepreneurship requires— the eradication of fear. You don't have to look far to detect the habits of some great innovators of this decade. In the early 90's, two risky innovators— Swanson and Boyer— left the grind of full-time work and guaranteed paychecks and decided to start their own biotech company. The result is what we now know as Genentech, Inc. Just imagine how successful they would have been had they entered the venture with loads of fear and apprehension. You're right! Genentech would have been a disaster and died on the vine before it even had a chance to grow!

Fear and self-doubt are the biggest killers of lofty dreams. Many ideas with enormous potential have been stayed and defeated by the same people who envisioned them— the culprit being self-defeating fear. While it is true that some ideas turn out to be ridiculous pipe dreams, many would-be innovators use crazy excuses in order to mask their shattered confidence. Excuses such as their ideas would go underfunded and die a grisly death, the enormous amount of work isn't worth it and would break the bank for sure. Tragically, their ideas didn't have to end that way; most all ideas have great potential, and it's all in the state of mind.

Our idea involves the mixture of a few proven business models. We did not intend to totally revolutionize technology yet, but rather we wanted to just pick an exciting and challenging industry and then use our technology skills to promote that industry on the Internet. After plenty of research and deliberation, we chose the world of dancing as our target. We applied our significant experience in Internet startups, and the result is our beta website called iYango (www.iyango.com). We quickly realized that there is no one destination website that pulls together all the styles of dance around the world, so that is our new goal. Sure, there are boutique dance resources here and there, but they cater to a particular genre of dance such as salsa or ballroom dancing. The same is true for our only competitor, the rhapsodic DanceJam.com founded by M.C. Hammer, which is stuck in the world of hip-hop and street dance battles. Our goal with iYango is to pull all styles of dance together into a website packed with features that cater to the world's dance audience.


Fun and Funny


Kids


Popular Indian


Ballet


Jazz / Tap


Nightlife

Like I said, we began with a beta website, and the few addictive features that we have on iYango.com are just the beginning. Check back once in a while, and bookmark the site if you have any enthusiasm for dance whatsoever. You'll see the website evolve into a huge global community of enthusiasts who share the common passion of dancing. It will take us a little while to grow, especially in this current economy where startup funds are tougher than bark on a tree. It's a cliché in investor circles that a global recession like this is a great way to put entrepreneurs to the test. In a cash-strapped 2009, it will be those highly motivated die-hards who will keep their small companies together and pull out of this recession with grace.

Alive and Well

Mon, 08 Dec 2008 18:35:19 GMT

Yes, I'm back. I couldn't begin to figure out how to apologize for disappearing. So why don't I post an entry from my personal log, which is something I rarely do:

Dear Private Diary:

It has taken me all these months to find time to write publicly again. Even if I had an excuse for not sharing my day-to-day exploits with all of my readers, they probably wouldn't buy the excuse anyway. And for a good reason— there are some very smart cookies out there in the blogosphere. They debated major political issues on their blogs with coherence, they maintained a sense of resolve and positive thinking as the economy crumbled around us, and best of all, as busy as most of them have become, they still find time to blog. They pour their hearts out about everything from alternative energy, to break-ups, to the ins and outs of stuffing a turkey. If only I were that good at time management.

There is a reason why most bloggers belong to Generation Y. Even with a full schedule, they're still full of energy, and part of that naive sparkle-in-the-eye is still there. They haven't learned the harsh reality of the human condition, which is something I will be blogging about profusely in the future. The problem is that people don't want a dose of reality, but they do want an escape. How can I possibly accommodate that, when my two greatest traits are insight and honesty? They don't want to hear that the 21st century will be the most turbulent one the world has ever seen (as if the 20th century wasn't bad enough with 13 major wars). They don't want to hear that they might have to study nuclear war survival, just in case. And most farfetched of all, they don't want to hear that amidst all the unknowns, they may reap the benefits of future medicine to live for hundreds of years, if they so desire.

The wisdom I've gained in just the past year alone has outranked everything else in my life. Step by step, I will find a way to share what I've researched about science, technology, and medicine, particularly what awaits us in the near future. And armed with that necessary evil called "honesty", I will be able to enlighten at least a few people with the great inventions— and catastrophies— that await us.

-DLC

So don't worry, I'll make sure to write at least once per week. I've just been busy with a small Internet company that I co-founded, and I'll talk more about that next time. If you're able to empathize with the life of an entrepreneur, then you'll understand how quickly it gobbles up my time.

For now, I'll leave you with an little peek into the future with an illustration (to the right) of a proposed supertall skyscraper, which tops out at 400 stories. Any guess as to which city wants to build this? ;)

Concilatory

Thu, 24 Apr 2008 06:16:22 GMT

Floralis Generica in Buenos Aires, Argentina
Photo: Daniel Culveyhouse

Sorry for the apparent blogging hiatus. As you might have guessed, I didn't suddenly stop blogging and disappear into the Oort Cloud. Nope, a roommate didn't accidentally flush me down the toilet. I've still been writing prolificly, just in different capacities other than a free-form blog such as this one. This happened once before, and I wound up neglecting my blog, promising never to do that again. I actually broke that promise, which is something I hardly ever do. I know that a hiatus isn't a big deal, but a public promise means a lot, in any setting. So, this hit to my integrity probably means that I could never hold public office now (like I'd ever want to anyway!).

The end of 2007 and the first quarter of 2008 were perhaps some of the most transcendent months of my life. Not because they were loaded with swashbuckling action, but because it was the phase where I became a free spirit and a libertine. I will recap these events over the next week, and it will surely reveal that...

I have awakened.

Paris of the South

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 15:21:53 GMT

Above Buenos Aires

I am far away from my comfy place in San Francisco. Six thousand five hundred miles to be exact. I write from the city that somehow picked up a nickname as the "Paris of the South." If you have never heard of this Paris of the South, then you're not alone. I didn't know it was called as such until I was standing right in the middle of it. It's the nickname given to Buenos Aires, perhaps the most fashionable, the most cosmopolitan, and the most liberal city in Latin America by most standards.

I had planned to explore the city for one week, then visit a distant location in Argentina during the second week to compare the two regions. I have decided that there is just so much to do in Argentina's capital, that I will just stay here for my entire vacation. Yes, it is massive. It is larger than New York City, at least 5 times the area and 1.5 times the population. I am warming up to this city more each day, and to help you to find a soft spot for Buenos Aires too, I will blog about the city for months.

Have you ever noticed how we seem to suppress megacities such as Buenos Aires in our imagination, denying the fact that they are in reality much larger than we assumed? Most people tend to judge a city's size by its skyscraper count and clustering— that is, the size of its financial district. This almost always leads to a clouded perception of a city, since many external forces affect building count, not just the total number of residents in the city.

Buenos Aires, for example, does not really have a packed financial district like my fair city, San Francisco. One look at San Francisco's dense skyline and it's obvious that we are a huge bustling city, right? WRONG! Our population is less than one million, and we are jammed like sardines into just 47 square miles. Buenos Aires is forty times the size of our city, but yet it might not appear so just by inspecting its downtown area. Honestly, there's not much there.

Buenos Aires, much like San Francisco, is a district-rich city, where the mood, fashion, nightlife, and everything else changes from one neighborhood to another. All in good time, I will take you through a tour of the city, one area at a time. But for now, I'll leave you with two photos. The first is a photo of one of my favorite districts called La Boca. Needless to say, I'll visit the neighborhood at least one more time! The second is the huge law school of the University of Buenos Aires.

A Vivid Street in La Boca

Facultad de Derecho y Ciencias Sociale

The Blog Redefined

Sun, 18 Nov 2007 19:08:20 GMT

Yes, I know, I'm so bad. I haven't posted anything in months, selfishly keeping all of my writing discreet and unpublished. It turns out that the works I have written lately just do not belong on this blog, and if you read a few of these unrelentingly geeky papers, you would thank me. They cover human efficiency issues, crazy government experiments, and the like. No, you really don't want to be bored with that nonsense.

So rather than go back and sort out the material I should post, and what I shouldn't, I have finally done what I set out to do long ago: I have splintered my blog into three separate websites. Best of all, this Xanga blog will host the theme of HONESTY. I am clutching everything I assumed about the world, and everything I have been programmed by society to believe, and throwing it all out the window. My first project will take me to Argentina for two weeks, but I will still write and publish while I am there.

There are many topics in today's world that people choose not to write about— America's wretched excess, the world's epidemic drug problem, overpopulation, the self-destructive gay lifestyles all around me, and worst of all our destruction of nature. Also difficult to find is real evaluation of the human predicament, which from my perspective, is becoming increasingly disturbing. Yes, the subjects are taboo and will spark waves of debate, but guess who will start covering them, and who will bust the subjects wide open on Xanga? You guessed right.

This so-called Xanga, a mirage of masks and facades, of inaccurate autobiographies of their authors, has always been a place where one must read between the lines.

Well, Xanga is about to receive an infusion of honesty, thought-provoking debate, and fortitude.

Prepare yourself.

21st Century Gold Rush

Tue, 04 Sep 2007 06:53:16 GMT

Work has pulled me away from my passions, but the way that I've lived my summer suggests to me that I am not controlling my job the way that I should be. I did not devote enough time to myself, and in a departure from the usual, I just didn't take any risks over the summer. I wasn't renting and flying planes, I wasn't traveling, and I wasn't writing. And once I start down the path of overcommitment in the office, it is tougher and tougher to claw my way back out into the world.

That missing ingredient— taking risks— is something that I discovered to be a defining part of my character over the past ten years. It should come as no surprise that what befits me perfectly is the West Coast's dizzying scene of high tech startups. They are fast, crazy, and risky, and though relatively few of them have a happy ending, it's the prospect of ultra success that drives us. I had to traverse four startup companies before I found a little of my own success. Having seen the many faces of startup survival, the time is ripening for me to join my fifth one. Yes, there is substantial risk involved in me leaving a great job with a great company to chase another rainbow. But just like all the other paradigms that we must journey through in life, each of my tenures is more fruitful than the last, and I enter each one more wiseness and emboldened than before.

I am often asked, how is it that technology has become so lucrative and alluring, and why do so many Californians want to get rich off of technology anyway? There are plenty of honorable reasons why people are exhilarated by this industry. Chiefly, technology gives rise to endless possibilities that did not exist previously (such as nanotechnology), and in technology, there is no limit to what we can accomplish. We software engineers know this more than anyone, and we constantly make discoveries that amaze even ourselves. Secondly, high tech startups are SEXY. Sometimes, college grads will look for work in startups, just to be part of a new company full of young co-workers that's already a household name.

To be perfectly honest about the darker side of business, I think that many reasons why being part of these companies is so desirable lie in greed and envy. Investors who inject money into a little tech company to keep it alive, with a short and quick exit strategy in mind, often do not have much respect for the technology itself. It is greed, or the prospect of taking millions and turning it into tens of millions, that attracts the wealthy to this business. What often attracts aspiring workers to fast startups is the prospect of striking it rich, much like the allure of the California Gold Rush over 150 years ago. This can be aggravated by viewing with envy those who already succeeded in this game and now live in a $2,000,000 home in the most affluent part of town. The thought of just standing in the right place at the right time and becoming an instant millionaire, just enthralls people, especially the young women and men of Generation Y.

How People Get Rich within Startups
Believe it or not, most citizens of the world don't quite understand just how the lucky few manage to strike it rich. Here's a quick hack job of an explanation: Joe Blow has a very innovative idea, whips up a little money, finds a business partner, and co-founds a new startup. They sell part of the company to investors, usually called venture capitalists, in return for some quick cash, so they can hire a team of thinkers and leaders to manage them. One of these crazy techie guys is John Doe. They all get a small piece of the company too, usually through stock options. As the idea grows, so does the team, and Joe Blow and his company needs even more cash. Once a second or third round of funding happens, much of the company has already been sold to its lenders.

Realizing that the company cannot continue in this state, its board always aims for a quick exit, usually in the form of an acquisition. They drum up interest from a larger corporation, and seizing the opportunity, the big corporation buys the startup. If the big company is publicly-traded, presto, the old startup options are now converted to the new options. Suddenly, Joe Blow is a millionaire, and all those other techies, including that crazy John Doe, make a little money too.

Tragically, in this kind of scenario, the general workforce doesn't make a whole lot of money. It's only a mild base hit. But what if the company found a way to make itself profitable quickly, only requiring two rounds of funding? That would mean that more of the company belongs to the executives and employees, and less to the venture capitalists. That also means that the company now has the chance to grow and go public. Let's say that it does. All those options that everyone owned have much more value now, and many people like John Doe, not just the founders, become millionaires.

Such was the case with Google, and on a smaller scale, companies like Salesforce.com, VMWare, and Genentech. As you might guess, there are darker shades to this seemingly sweet deal. This scenario creates a major workplace disparity, between the rich veterans and their newly-hired co-workers who have to work for an average salary, sitting next these millionaires doing roughly the same type of job. Yes, it spawns workplace contention, and human resource staffers are now having to deal with the symptoms that this disparity creates, particularly at Google.

This little tour through high tech only scratches the surface of what our industry is really like, and in the coming months, you'll read much more about the inner workings of a startup company. For within any company you will find stretches of triumph and joy, as well as some cases of shame and disappointment. This is especially the case in my industry. But the stories of these startups are very human, and with all of their risky business, high tech companies are the sign of our times.

Johannes Brahms: Clarinet Sonata in F Minor, Op. 120
1: Allegro appasionato

A Summer of Music

Sun, 10 Jun 2007 06:34:38 GMT

In the summer, San Francisco finds itself out-of-season in the realm of classical music. But nothing can silence the tens of thousands of instruments in the city, owned and played by some of the most talented musicians in the world. A festival of Prokofiev's music awaits me this month, as well as the entire summer season of the San Francisco Opera. So many rock, hip hop, and electronica concerts will also round up the masses over the next few months, but I tend to always wind up in our vibrant sympony and theater scene. It enraptures me to no end, and as I find more and more friends with these same cultural interests, it adds even more meaning to a lifetime passion of mine.

I have studied Sergei Prokofiev's music since I was an adolescent, and of all composers who touched my life, I would have to say this Russian firebrand has always been the most contiguous in my thoughts. Ironically, I never learned to play any of Prokofiev's piano music, but that gap is something I intend to close sometime later in the year. The irony continues once you realize that he did move to San Francisco in 1918 to escape war and unrest in Russia, but he found little success in the United States. If only I had lived in this fair city back in that day, and if only I could have lent him all the moral support he needed to flourish in the States!

He moved to Paris after a brief stay in New York City and Chicago, and there he finished his Piano Concerto #3, which will be performed in concert this coming Friday! Along with this concerto, we will also get to hear the suite from his troubled opera, The Love for Three Oranges, which he wrote in Chicago in 1919. He was not able to premiere this opera until two years later at the Chicago Opera, because the originally scheduled premiere in was cancelled when the music director who commissioned it died suddenly! And of course, no Prokofiev festival would be complete without his suite from Romeo and Juliet, which will polish off next Friday's concert.

One week later, I will be attending Mozart's masterpiece, Don Giovanni. That I have someone to accompany me to this to this enthralling work is an honor beyond words. And finally, as a bonus that also left me speechless, a dear composer friend, John Bilotta, who just finished writing a comic opera called Quantum Mechanic, dedicated his opera to me.

Connect with your city and all of its music, in your own way. I can only hint to you the rewards you will bring to yourself, and the ways in which you will be enlightened.

Sergei Prokofiev: Romeo and Juliet, 10 pieces for piano,
# 10: Romeo and Juliet Before Parting

Clean Sweep

Sun, 27 May 2007 09:42:35 GMT

My delicate life, with all its facets, was teetering out of balance. I am Daniel the workaholic, the volunteer, and the small business owner, and yet I do find some strength in the craziness of it all.

My unrelenting focus on work was the culprit, as it always is. It is easy for work to consume me, pulling me away from exercise, dating, writing, and the social scene. But I'm now starting to feel more a part of my company, a company focused on work/life balance, and for that I am grateful.

The unhealthiness is most obvious in my social life. I have been neglecting friends, as well as failing to meet new faces. I had also made the mistake of hanging on to some acquaintances who contradicted my own lifestyle, only to fill my social void a little. Just recently, I fixed that.

Last month, as I do every few years, I took inventory of everyone I know, weeded out the drug abusers, shallow snobs, and sociopaths, and literally wiped them right off of my map. That paves the way for some new and remarkable people to enter my life, which is why I have no reservations about excommunicating these people.

When we shut someone out of our life, it tends to have a cascading effect by souring friendly terms with others who are close to that person. This is why most people are too terrified to eject people from their lives like I do. I have no problem with this collateral damage, and I also think of it as a natural cleansing of my being, since this "clean-sweep" has a way of removing a few others who should not be in my life to begin with.

For instance, let's say that I decide to castigate and crucify someone I knew— an unscrupulous drug abusing grad student who tramps around and ultimately hurts people I happen to know. That might have a cascading effect and sour my disposition with three people I knew in Canada, for example. If the characters of those three included a steroid abuser, a drug-abusing circuit boy, and a white male who can socially relate only to young Asian men, then as far as I'm concerned, it is a positive outcome for me.

Yes, it can result in people being hurt. But again, I am different. My ice-cold opposition to drugs, unsafe sex, and lack of morals will never subside, just like my disappointment and utter disgust of most types of gay lifestyles cannot be undone. There are certain things about a person, however, that can force me to make an exception. The classical musicians whom I meet are too passionate and remarkable for me to boot out, and they have always been my weakness. I've noticed that I will also keep someone in my life who treats me uncommonly well and with unwavering loyalty, despite their other issues such as drug abuse. Also, once I have managed to foster a friendship that lasts a very long time (a decade or so), that person is a part of me forever, regardless.

With that said, I tend to realign my social life sparingly— only once every three or four years. The last time I did this, every single part of my life improved. Only one month has passed since my most recent sweep, and I am already starting to see the benefits.

I'll close by answering where I've been. This entry should make it obvious why I had no time to write for a few weeks, but these small lapses happen from time to time. My long-time readers know that I will never stop writing, considering that I was one of the first bloggers on the planet. In fact, this week marks my 12th anniversary of blogging! Remember that Xanga is just another passing mechanism to deliver my blog, but my personal website is the one that has always hosted these entries. Xanga will one day be gone, just like many things in life, but through all the changes we face, it is our wisdom that remains.

Love,
Daniel Culveyhouse